I've gone through the hardest part of my life in 2017 (so far la).Yes, I did it. I can't put it into words bcoz it was hard for me. I try not to cry, mourn and I pull myself together to be as strong as I could. I won't let anything or anyone make me down. Whatever happen, happens. This is my battle. My journey. My life. The first quarter of this year is the most hectic and tough for me. The pressure to complete my Fyp within 4 months, at the same time preparation of exhibition, presentation, and report for the subject Comparative study was really no joke. The schedule was so packed and tight. Thankfully I've family and friends who always support me. You don't know how many times I think of giving up and at the same time, I've no choice but to continue anyway. Life goes on. We cannot be stuck in the same place forever. Move on.
Q: How do I see myself as an artist?
My sister asks me this, about identity. for a long time ago, I was questioned about this too. bcoz after she looks at my design, she said it was lack of identity. she said I lost myself. bcoz her sister that she knew was really love drawing more than painting. I admit, she is not totally wrong about me. But she might forget or don't know the fact that colouring comes first in my life before drawing. it's about 18 years back, I really in love with colours. I enter so many competition and neither one I win, but I don't mind.
The thing is I'm not changed, but I found myself. Maybe I am multipotentialite. I love all about arts. I love painting, drawing, sketching, painting, graphics, illustrating, editing, and writing. But I can't do it at once. It depends on my mood and situation. My identity is not something you can define. But if you ask what is my speciality or strength?
I think it is 'the ability to listen to what my inner voice said to me.' Not everyone can hear it bcoz the 'outside voices' were very loud or maybe they pretend not to hear it. Ask yourself, what you love the most? who you want to be? and try to listen carefully to what your inner voice will say. Yes, that small voice inside you.
And please, don't underestimate the power of yourself. Don't let your doubts, you inferior and your weakness become your obstacles and boycott you. You are far way smarter than what you think. Be yourself and be okay with it.
Q: How did I start?
I start with what I have first. I didn't start with watercolour, I start doing editing service. If you have a laptop, why don't you install photoshop and explore? I didn't plan to be what I am right now. I just do it what I can do with what I have. During that time, I don't have enough money to start my business, I try doing editing first, editing for social media templates etc. then people ask me to do graphic design, I make a logo, product design and so on. I learn from scratch, I try to make my own logo. From there, they told me that I can do more. Why not trying textile design? it was very challenging in the first place, and even now. it is So hard that makes me want to learn more.
As I told before this, I don't have a proper education in fine arts or digital arts, I learn from any free resources I can get and learn by making tons of mistakes. Try and adjust. It such a long journey, then I bought a drawing tablet, scanner, watercolour tools etc. using the money that I got from commission works. I didn't buy it at once, but one by one based on priority. I told my friend who have some difficulties and doesn't have a laptop , that she can make arts with pen and paper, bcoz she is a talented artist. at least she has a phone that has internet access, then she has everything. she can sell her arts. No more excuse. Nowadays, we need to be more creative than technology, think less and do more.
-Amal-
